A few weeks ago, a friend asked me, “How will I know when I am healed?”
When the pain of healing feels too intense, we all want to know when it will end. I have been thinking about her question a lot, and what I’ve learned from psychotherapist and author Kaytee Gillis is that you don’t wake up one day and notice you’re healed. You’re more likely to notice small changes such as:
Decreased self-doubt
Improved Health
Less offended by others' boundaries
No longer having conversations with "them" in your head
Increased capacity to acknowledge your feelings
Easier for you to ask for help
You have compassion for yourself
You recognize when something triggers you
You don’t self-soothe or self-medicate as much
As I reflected on these areas of growth, I realized how far I’ve come in my journey. I do experience less self-doubt and more self-compassion. Noticing I'm making progress on even a few of these areas gives me hope that I'm healing. Now I'm just hoping for more patience with myself, because, like physical injuries, trauma healing takes time, and each of us is in different places on our own journey.
